Let me just be honest… I have had this deep longing and call on my life for as long as I can remember. I can remember sitting in my wheelchair, after having extensive surgery on my leg in the 7th grade, and just feeling ticked at God.
After being abused as a child, run over by an 18 wheeler, divorced parents, sister abducted, moving all the time, etc… I had hit my limit of joy in life and turned to a really low place mentally and emotionally.
I remember saying to God, “What have I done to you to deserve this? I have had this stuff happening to me my whole life. Why?”
Boom… rock bottom…
and it was at that point that I heard that still small voice.
Speaking to me in peace and power, He lovingly said to me, “I have allowed this to happen because I am going to use you in a mighty way. I need you understand people and what they are going through, and follow me.”
Many people say that when they hear God is it not any audible voice, but an unspoken push and mental words… and in many times this is the case for me… but this was not that.
This was an audible voice.
From that point on I was ready to go, and have been seeking how to get involved in the church and into full time ministry.
But my path was not what I thought it would be. For years I struggled with what God was having me do, feeling like I would never get the opportunity to step into my calling.
I even questioned whether or not God called me to ministry… Maybe I was just young and emotional… and then it happened.
After meeting with Justin, lead pastor of Stone Oak Bible, God confirmed in both of us that it was time.
Time to step into what He had been calling me to since middle school.
Almost in shock, I realized that I had gotten to a point in my walk where for 4 months prior to that conversation, I had been praying that if the Lord was calling me into ministry, please make it very obvious on what He wanted me to do.
This could not be more obvious… and we are excited, terrified, and praising God for answered prayers… even if it seemed to take a long time (15 years).
If you are reading this and have struggled with the same thing as me… feeling your purpose but struggling with seeing it come to fruition… let me say this. God is purposeful and loving.
Trust in the Lord with all of your heart and don’t lean on your own understanding of how things are supposed to go.. and He will direct your path.